Friday 19 July 2013

On giving, selfishly.

This is an issue that has irked me for a while now. Every single time there is a mishap in the country, we outrage, the media digs up a million similar incidents and reports it, the politicians point fingers in a manner so blatant that it would shame the average Indian fielder and the guilty go unpunished while the wronged ones' tears are ignored.
We never get to the fucking root cause of any problem! We are happy to scrape it superficially and then yell on TV or type in ALL CAPS on Twitter.

The recent mid-day meal deaths have left me rattled. It is unfortunate that a bunch of parents who would normally employ their kids in their farms believed that the substandard education provided in a government school would be worth their kids' time because they would be fed well. What happened is not because of the negligence in a few schools or the jugaad attitude that is now synonymous with us Indians. There is a bigger problem.

We don't know how to give. Well, at least not wholeheartedly. We live in a society which says it is ok and maybe even commendable that you choose to feed your domestic help leftovers from last night's dinner. "At least they are getting breakfast. Jyoti Aunty's house they don't give her coffee also."
We are a society that does not flinch when people "donate" their old clothes to people affected by natural calamities.  " You don't use those old sneakers na? Grip is gone fully no? Next time that Gurkha comes...give it to him and don't give him twenty rupees also. Give ten ok?"

The saddest part is not that we are ok with this kind of an attitude. It is that we actually feel we are being "selfless" or "charitable."
Well, fuck you. That is not what being selfless means. If you truly are selfless, give what you would use; not something you have no use for. Do not mix garbage disposal and charity.

Do you think you are being selfless? Allow me to let you in on a little secret. Every single act of yours is selfish. You are giving your domestic help idlies hoping that she has incentive to stay or the energy to scrub the floors better. You are giving the Gurkha shoes so that he does not sleep in while the roads are slippery. If you are a special asshole, you probably "donated" your shoes to get two extra "salaam Saab"s. You may say that those two rupees you give a physically challenged old lady at the traffic signal has no ulterior, selfish motive. The lady smiles or thanks you, she moves away from your window; subconsciously, you are feeling good about yourself after parting with something that can't buy you a decent chocolate these days. That is selfish too.

Don't get me wrong. I am not saying being selfish is a bad thing; in fact, personally, I think there is no greater virtue than selfishness. Those of you who have read a few older posts or know me well enough personally, probably know that I subscribe to the karma theory. Therefore, I feel that I am accruing more karma points by giving the sweeper a new pair of Hawaii chappals that cost me a little over hundred bucks instead of a battered pair of Nike crosstrainers. I request my mom to throw away last night's rice and make some extra pongal for the maid. A hot meal that is fresh and nutritious gives me more karma points than a stale bowl of rice that weighs thrice as much as a plate of pongal.

The next time you are about to give someone less fortunate than you something, please pause for a while and think; are you indulging in garbage disposal or are you genuinely helping them?  If we thought of that, we would not read about soya curry being prepared in pesticide tanks.